I’m not usually one to post about sex-related topics in this space, not least because my parents know where this blog is. (Hi Mom! If you’re reading this, please close your eyes and go on to the next post.) I would additionally like to preface this with the statement that you may find some of the following text pretty profoundly disturbing. That said…
As I was reading Google Reader’s recommended (i.e. popular) items, I came across AskMen.com’s Top 10 Female Sex Fantasies. I don’t know wy it’s popular, but I can say I found part of it shockingly irresponsible. In a magazine aimed at giving (straight) men sex advice:
“you may be surprised to know that many women want to do more than just fantasize. Some women spend just as much time hoping their men will help put their female sex fantasies into practice.”
“rape is a massively popular fantasy among women. Most psychologists believe this top 10 female sex fantasy allows a woman to have the wild, dirty sex she craves, without having to suffer the guilt that often follows. These female sex fantasies usually involve a gorgeous man carrying her off to his bedroom and quickly getting down to business. She’ll protest as he tears her clothing off and expertly arouses her body, but on the inside, she’ll love every minute of it.”
Really? Really? It’s now okay to publish stories that overtly encourage men to have their way with “their” woman, even over her vocal protests? “Don’t worry,” they say, “she’ll enjoy every minute of it.” Seriously, what. the. fuck.
Look, I don’t know anything about the prevalence of rape fantasies among women — honestly, I don’t see any evidence that the author does, either – she seems to be a sex columnist, but I’m not really sure what her sampling methodology or sources are for this supposed “top 10” ranking are — but whatever the prevalence, I can pretty much guess that if they were made real, no matter how “gorgeous” the man, it would not be an amazing turn on for her. It would be a profound violation that would leave a lasting and damaging effect. I’m not a woman, but I know a few, and I’m pretty sure they’d agree with me; if I’m wrong, please put me in my place – I’ll have learned something new. I fully believe that there is consumption of erotica and a healthy fantasy life around the subject of this kind “guilt-free” freak-nastiness, but this article practically instructs men that this is what women secretly want.
Listen, if this is something that you’ve discussed with your partner in the vein of a safe role-play or similar, vaya con dios. But for the love of everything good and right, don’t assume that this is any woman’s third favorite fantasy that she would like put into practice.